Extremist Islamic Group Pledge to Destroy American White Bread (SAT PAR News Jan 10, 2015) Dozens of Islamic fundamentalist terrorist groups including the Islamic State, have joined forces to wage ware on white bread in the United States. The reason is the uncanny coincidence of two people, one in Baltimore Maryland, the other in Seattle Washington, that have discovered their morning toast formed an image of Muhammad the prophet of Islam, Both said they used white bread. They recognized the image on their toast from paintings and drawings found in searches on the Internet. A video released by the Islamic State featured a speaker named Zarmina Waliyah angrily declaring war on American white bread. He also declared that they are examining the idea of an attack on toasters also,  as they were equal partners in the crime. Fundamental extreme Islamic groups cannot permit any image of the prophet as this they believe would lead to worship of idols. They are known as Iconoclasts and also have destroyed other images, statues, and buildings believed to spread false representation to God. The pieces of toast have been collected by the police and turned over to Homeland security where they have been placed in a bomb proof vault. 

Islamic State Falls Victim to Western Film Stereotype - Destroys Own Computer Network  (SAT PAR News Sep 06, 2014) The Islamic State, the extremist militants fighting in IRAQ with bases in Syria and also known as ISIS and ISIL may have dealt a greater injury to themselves then in all of their war campaigns to their enemy's. An informer has told Sat Par news that the IS leaders decided that based on the idea from western movies that young computer geniuses can hack and defeat any system, hired a 10 year old computer wizard to bring down Europe and American computer and mobile systems. While the informer was able to see that the kid was the best gamer in the world, he also saw that he was not that great at system hacking, due in part to the time spent playing games. When the child attempted to mask his computer origin by creating a hidden proxy server (a server that will mask your identify and issue connections and commands for you) - something he never attempted before - he inadvertently wiped data from all the IS computers and devices. The informer who wished to remain anonymous had worked in IT and described what happened, "This kid while brilliant, was doing something he knew nothing about! He connected all the IS devices with a hidden untraceable protocol - that part was smart, but when he set up the proxy server he instructed it to flush out the network for a clean start. He thought that meant the internet signals, but the command he issued meant all data, everywhere, even in caches. Everything is gone!" Lost were battle plans, bomb making instructions, tactical methods, blueprints of major city buildings, background files on fighters, basically everything IS used to successfully roll over Iraq was now gone, including all future plans. IS has not commented so far, this may in part be due to their templates for press responses were also deleted.